Some of my most favorite moments are those that happen the second a storm ends. When it is still dark, and your not quite sure if the storm has passed; or if it's just a lull before the next downpour begins. That first instant while it's quiet and still, the only sounds come from the drops of rain running off of trees and houses. You lie in wait for the moment that the sun pops back out from behind the clouds. That transition can take minutes, hours, sometimes days. Once everything has finally dried, the world seems so fresh and renewed. Even if things appear mostly unchanged, it's evident in the subtitles that the world is ever so slightly different then it had been before. It's these quiet moments of awakening that I find the most clarity.
It is impossible to remain unchanged after your life has been impacted by some unexpected force. Even on our best days, when we make our greatest attempt to regain the shreds of the person we had been, in a relatively recent past; we still can't help but to fall short. The differences may be subtle, and remain mostly hidden... but it's in the quiet moments you see that they are there none the less. Change doesn't have to be for the worst, even when it was unexpected undesired change. Independence, self reliance, determination and drive that wasn't there prior, all changes for the better; unsolicited as they might have been. Finding simplicity... the desire to let things be what they are, to just take in the small moments. To have the things you need and that matter to you, and let go of anything (or anyone) who doesn't bring you joy. A simple, joyful life.
Some of the biggest challenges we face aren't the changes we find within ourselves, instead the changes others see in us. As unexpected as the catalyst may have been for you, it was likely equally as surprising for those around you. The version of yourself you have now settled into, may be very different then who the one you had so recently been. When others seek out an explanation about a new found apathy to certain areas, or interest in others; you can often be left without. The same self reliance that has kept you going, can cripple relationships that were previously a large part of your everyday. When choosing to find simplicity, and seek out joy... sometimes people we relied on heavily, don't fit the same into our lives as they once did. Others who played much less of a part in the everyday, become the ones we need most. It's a nearly impossible balance to find, to keep your life as much the same as it was, but fitting that into a new mold of yourself. No longer wanting or needing others approval or opinions, while they are still more then eager to place their value on choices you make.
When you step outside after a storm, the air smelling clean, new, refreshed; breathe deep. Appreciate the change, no matter how small. The opportunity for something different. Even if it was the darkest, fiercest storm you have ever faced; the sun comes out again eventually. You may not always be able look right out into it, it can be blinding, the reflection before everything has dried and settled. But it is warm, and promising; something worth taking advantage of.
